Yes Folks – Mock the Week News From Crystal Palace style is back!
Dara Ó Briain: Lambeth Labour launched their manifesto for a fairer, better Lambeth on Saturday alongside Mayor of London Sadiq Khan – on the very day it was revealed that Lambeth Labour and the GLA had agreed secret deals to finance the demolition of five council estates across the borough – thus denying people living on those estates the chance to save their homes.
The manifesto includes an introduction by Cllr Lib Peck. supreme leader of Lambeth council. Jo Brand (italics) voices Lib Peck before reading out parts of the Lambeth Labour manifesto. Hugh Dennis voices what Lambeth Labour actually mean.
We are an open, tolerant and diverse borough with a rich history and an exciting future.
We only tolerate the views of people who agree with us. 100 per cent.
In 2014 you elected Lambeth Labour on a pledge to be fair to everyone.
More fool you.
By listening and using your money wisely we’ve kept our promises to you.
We’ve spent millions on consultants fees. We’ve kept our promise: We are fair to everyone who agrees with us.
Our Labour values drive our vision for the borough.
The Labour Party was created in 1900: a new party for a new century. Its formation was the result of many years of struggle by working class people, trade unionists and socialists, united by the goal of working class voices represented in British Parliament.
We’ve worked in partnership with local community groups and partners…..to find ways to prevent services from closing completely.
Yes. Like the organisation now known as the Carnegie Community Trust who will be taking over the Carnegie library at Herne Hill.
……to find ways to prevent services from closing completely.
We’re shoving the entire library service into the left-hand front room at the Carnegie. We’re having rock music in the main building. If the people living above the library don’t like it – tough. If the bookworms don’t like it – tough.
We’ve also been proud to work with the Labour Mayor of London Sadiq Khan.
Yes. We’ve really stitched up all those people complaining they didn’t want their homes demolished. On Cressingham Gardens. On Fenwick. On Knights Walk. On South Lambeth. On Westbury. He’s given us the finances to demolish them. Well we didn’t want a ballot, did we?
We’re working with the Mayor to get the best deal for our borough.
Now we’ve just got to sort out that lot on Central Hill estate in Crystal Palace.
We’ve listened to thousands of residents….
And totally ignored them
……and hundreds of Labour Party members……..
Well we’re not going to talk to any opposition parties are we?. They’d just disagree with us. Hmph!
…….to create a manifesto that builds on our track record of standing up for Lambeth.
Stand up, stand up for Labour….
On 3rd May, I hope that you will put your trust in Labour to deliver a better, fairer Lambeth. Cllr Lib Peck Labour Leader of Lambeth Council.
A MORE EQUAL LAMBETH
Locally we’ve been bold and innovative in our approach to defending local services.
Closing libraries, reducing library sizes, doing deals where we don’t get any money like getting a gym installed in the basement of the Carnegie, doing a deal over West Norwood library with a cinema chain.
By working with the voluntary sector, community groups and changing our own approach, we’ve kept all ten libraries open.
For the moment.
We’ve also saved millions from renegotiating council contracts, moving services online and cutting the back-office to protect spending on the front-line.
But we had to spend some of that by employing agency staff to cover the work of the people we’d got rid of.
Our decision to bring housing management back into the council in 2015 saved £3.7 million last year, meaning more money for repairs, fire safety, and improved tenant services.
But not on the estates we want to demolish.
The Labour Party was established to build a fairer, more equal country and we are delivering on those values in Lambeth.
We will make it a requirement for organisations that receive council grants or that rent commercial property from the council to pay the London Living Wage, because a hard day’s work deserves a fair day’s pay.
It’s been a Hard Day’s Night.
A Labour government will introduce a £10 minimum wage, giving a pay rise to millions of people.
A Labour government. Run by the Corbynistas who we won’t have standing as candidates for Lambeth council. And that goes for anyone else who signed any of the library petitions criticising us. Dissent within Lambeth Labour is not tolerated.
We have reduced the pay of Lambeth’s chief executive and senior staff and we will ensure that the pay ratio between the highest and lowest earner in the council continues to come down and does not exceed 10:1
We won’t say how much we’ve reduced the pay of the chief executive by. Or how many senior staff have had their pay reduced. That’s confidential.
TACKLING LAMBETH’S HOUSING CRISIS
Labour councillors joined tenants and activists to march and protest against the Housing and Planning Bill and we’re proud we now have a Labour Mayor, Sadiq Khan, who’s putting the London housing crisis front and centre.
And up yours if you live on one of the six estates we’re demolishing.
Lambeth already has a compulsory landlord licensing scheme for homes of multiple occupation (HMOs) and we will be expanding our landlord licensing scheme to double the number of HMOs covered.
Sorry? If it’s a compulsory scheme how can we then double the numbers? No idea. Ask our communications team. What? They don’t answer any questions any more……?
We will name, shame and prosecute rogue landlords who fail to provide decent homes, doubling the number of inspections of private rented homes over the next four years so dodgy landlords have nowhere to hide.
But not if they are part of our wonderful new Homes for Lambeth scheme.
Where landlords fall short, we’ll use our powers to levy fines of up to £30,000 and to ban rogue landlords from operating in Lambeth.
More and more people are being left behind and in Lambeth, 2,000 families, including nearly 5,000 children, are now homeless and provided with temporary accommodation.
Let’s hope they don’t mention the 23,000 people on the housing waiting list and someone does the maths.
Last year Lambeth was the best performing London borough for building new homes, delivering 80 per cent more than the target set by the Mayor.
We introduced a new ‘clawback’ power: if developers make more profit than they claimed in their viability, the council takes 80pc of the additional profit for the delivery of new affordable housing.
This is called capitalism.
We also introduced a developers tax which has raised nearly £20 million to invest in local community infrastructure and community projects.
But we won’t and don’t give ANY of that to the borough’s libraries.
We will increase this developers tax so more money goes to benefit the local community across the borough.
….and we won’t give any of that to the borough’s libraries either.
There are still 28,000 Lambeth families on the council’s waiting list for social housing.
To build even more homes we’ve set up a 100 per cent council-owned not-for-profit company, Homes for Lambeth…
To demolish six of our estates.
Through better use of council land, infill on estates…
But not on Central Hill. ASH (Architects for Social Housing) wanted to infill on there but we don’t like them.
and rebuilding some estates that are of poor quality….
But not all. And the only reason there’s a problem on others is because we haven’t done loads and loads of repairs. Well it’s the Tory Government isn’t it? Mention Austerity. Mention Brexit. (It says here).
…..and which the council cannot afford to refurbish
…because we’ve spent millions on consultants. And are spending millions more on consultants who will tell us how to demolish these estates.
we’re building a new generation of the highest quality social housing
We will complete our programme of estate regeneration to rebuild six of our estates to give existing residents better homes and to create more social housing to tackle the housing crisis.
Rebuild. Not demolition. Clever that isn’t it?
We’ve worked hard with tenants and leaseholders to make rebuilding our estates fair to our existing residents…
But only the ones who have agreed with us. We’re sick to death of people disagreeing with us.
On each estate, the council has carried out full and independent consultations which have demonstrated resident support for more and better homes.
Okay two or three residents on each estate have supported us. But it’s still support, isn’t it?
We’ve worked closely with the Mayor of London on his Estate Regeneration Principles and will fully implement his recommendations when published this summer.
Now we’ve done this secret deal with him.
Council estates have been fully refurbished, with tenants receiving new kitchens, bathrooms, windows and doors — making sure homes are warm, dry and safe.
But not the ones we’re demolishing.
In the past six years we’ve invested £480 million to refurbish and improve the standard of council housing in Lambeth, one of the largest single investments anywhere in the country.
Where’s the money been spent? Why did we have to spend so much money if we’d been doing our job properly in the first place? What sort of questions are those?
We’ve been tough on repairs contractors, firing contractors who didn’t deliver for residents, and our tenant satisfaction is the highest it’s ever been.
Firing contractors? That’s a new one. Tenant satisfaction? Well we only ask the people we know are going to say they’re satisfied.
We will give tenants and leaseholders more control over improvements on their estates through estate action plans and support new resident boards to hold council officers and contractors to account for performance.
New resident boards. We decide who goes on them, not the people living on the estates. We only want Yespeople.
We will introduce greater transparency on performance and repairs, making it easier for residents to see how much work is planned for their estate and to track the progress of work.
But not for tenants.
A CLEANER AND GREENER LAMBETH
We’ve led London on cycling, being recognised by winning the award for Excellence in Cycling and Walking at the London Transport Awards in 2017.
This is to get the cyclists to vote Labour, not Green.
A new ‘Good Parks for London’ report, which examines how local authorities are using innovation to protect London’s parks, and green spaces puts Lambeth top of the league table in London.
We came joint top with Lewisham and Southwark.
We have adopted a comprehensive Air Quality Action Plan and successfully lobbied the London Mayor for one of the first clean bus corridors in London which has already led to significant improvements in air quality on Brixton Road.
We’ve all been shocked by the damage that single-use plastics are causing to the environment, so we will work to introduce a ban on all single use plastics used by the council and all major council suppliers.
We will work….didn’t we agree at council to do that in December 2018? Rather than April 2018 which is what the Green party councillor wanted? Oh, I see – we can change our decision after we’re re-elected. Right.
OUR VIBRANT TOWN CENTRES
Libraries are at the heart of our neighbourhoods but across the country, hundreds of libraries have closed. Despite huge funding cuts from central government we’ve kept all 10 of our libraries open. We will open the fully refurbished West Norwood Library this summer, maintain our fantastic library service and support groups like the Upper Norwood Library Trust and the Carnegie Community Trust.
Our library service isn’t fantastic. At Carnegie there’s more security guards than librarians. And we don’t let librarians there have keys.
And we will support groups like the Carnegie Community Trust because we don’t care for the library supporters who want to run the Carnegie library.
A SAFER LAMBETH
To ensure that local residents have access to police officers in their neighbourhood, we will look to share premises such as public offices and housing offices on estates with Lambeth police, as a response to the eight station closures forced on Lambeth by the Tory government.
We haven’t asked the police about this. We don’t know what their response will be. Evening all.
Lambeth Labour will make it a requirement for organisations that receive council grants or that rent commercial property from the council to pay the London Living Wage
Defend The Ten @defendtheten Retweeted Joshua Lindsey
Again: if the #LivingWage is so important to @LambethLabour, why was LLW not a condition of @picturehouses receiving £3.4m for @WestNorwoodPH?
Jason_Cobb @Jason_Cobb Retweeted Joshua Lindsey
Good news! Does this mean that the £3.4M gifted to @picturehouses by @LambethLabour will now be withdrawn? I’m sure @RitzyLivingWage watching with interest. https://twitter.com/JoshuaTLindsey/status/978180511859462144 …
Aran Lewis @aranmlewis Mar 26 Replying to @RitzyLivingWage @defendtheten and 3 others
Note “will make it” not “has made it” – prepare to be disappointed.
Scott Ainslie Retweeted Tom Keene @anthillsocial
If anybody see’s @LambethLabour campaigning in the street please be sure to correct their misleading manifesto statement and remind them that in 2014 they promised to build 1,000 council homes, though only built 17, intend to demolish 1000’s, and replace with unaffordable homes.